Here at the end of all things...are new beginnings

I’m sitting here on the plane from Japan to Houston feeling sad and reflective about the 9 month journey that has now ended. In some ways it went by so fast-always planning the next trip, exploring Thailand, meeting people, getting to know bits of the culture. In other ways the time went by slow—the hot season, the flood, work hours after the flood, procrastinating and then finally quitting my worst habit during my last months. I’ve made changes in my life that I’m really proud of, but at the same time I still feel unready to take the big math test I have to pass by June and there are so many unknowns in my life returning to the states. Things were non stressful in Thailand. It’s that kind of place. I loved coming home to my clean, little apartment and spending time with the neighbors and the cats, looking forward and planning my next weekend excursion.

Now I have all these major things hanging over my head—a wedding to plan for that takes place on June 2^nd. A math test that must be passed by June 1^st. Renovations and painting and clearing out junk from our condo, all in time for Ismail’s mom’s arrival on March 21^st. Looking for a job, trying to make my money last until I get one. Settling in with Ismail again after such a long separation and knowing I’m going to have arguments about the apartment-what stays, what goes, etc. It all seems so much and yet it’s really like I took a 9 month break from life and am now being thrown right back into the middle of it.

I’m not complaining much. I like my life in Florida – I have my mom & Ed nearby and I have a husband I love dearly. I’m excited about our upcoming wedding and what the future holds for my career path. I’m so glad I decided to come to Thailand and experience something I’ve always wanted to experience. I have seen so much of Thailand, which is an incredibly beautiful place. It’s an easy country to travel in because there are so many Western tourists that go there, they have travel infrastructure set up for everyone. 

Thailand has no shortage of awe inspiring beauty. I’ve seen beaches with breathtaking limestone cliff islands jutting out of the sea in turquoise water where you can snorkel and see the most amazing fish and sea snakes and caves. We snorkeled over coral reefs on an island just north of the Malaysian border, in Thailand’s far Muslim South – one of the most beautiful beaches in Thailand with white sand, warm water and beautiful corals right off the beach. Thailand has incredible national parks as well, most with many beautiful waterfalls and teeming with every tropical butterfly species and the tropical jungle wildlife you’d expect – I’ve seen a wild elephant and gibbons on a beautiful early morning hike with friends, I’ve seen a 7-tiered waterfall, each with a milky blue pool to swim in; it’s a 2 hour steep hike to the top tier and worth every second. I’ve been to a national park that has a manmade dam with limestone cliffs jutting out of beautiful light green fresh water perfect for swimming and bathing. We stayed in a raft house and you could just jump right in outside your door. I’ve camped, rafted and trekked in Thailand’s most remote national park in Umphang to see one of SE Asia’s biggest waterfalls, Thi Lo Su. The drive down takes 5 hours through treacherous winding, steep mountain where you pass Karen refugee villages and small Thai villages along with breathtaking scenery.

I’ve been to Thailand’s Westernmost Point-Mae Sot, a Burmese Border, and then to Thailand’s Northern most point in Mae Sai, also a Burmese Border. I made it to the infamous Golden Triangle, the meeting point of 3 countries, Lao, Thailand and Myanmar (Burma) and also home to museums and mystery about the height of the days past when the illegal opium trade was in full flourish here.

 I’ve seen the famous White Temple in Chiang Rai, which did not disappoint in its splendor. I’ve ridden an elephant in the sleepy, artsy mountain town of Pai, a favorite stop of mine. We spent the night in a Robinson Crusoe type tree house just like the one at Disney’s Magic Kingdom. A very cool way to end my honeymoon was with Songkran – the Thai New Year and the biggest holiday of the year. It was so fun to take part in the water fights and you can’t help but join in since people drench you as soon as you step foot outside so you have to just go with it. We were in Chiang Mai, the place to be for Songrkan – it was crazy. 

I will always have such fond memories of Thailand. Not just for its otherworldly beauty, but also for its people. I will miss many of my students, so kind and respectful and when you are away from the big touristy areas you see Thai’s as they really are-genuine, always willing to share with you and invite you over with a smile. They are the type of people that get to know all their neighbors and take time to sit down each day to chat. They slow down with life, they take responsibility as a whole for their neighborhood stray animals by feeding them nightly. Mostly, they have a way of life that we Westerners, with our “go-go-go” attitudes could learn a lot from. They take time to enjoy things and I think that is what I will miss the most.

The End of a lifechanging journey

Wow. So the end is near and I have such a range of emotions about leaving Thailand. The rose colored glasses came off when I went back to teaching after the flood back in December. From then until now it’s been work, work, work,--extra hours to make up for flood time with Saturdays on top & extended hours during weekdays. I did go on one fabulous trip to Khao Yai National Park mid January, which was so needed! Life became a bit mundane, as life will, whether you live in the South of France, or Bangkok, or Kissimmiee, Florida. I began missing bits of home-driving my car, laughing with my mom, hanging out with Ed, the Fall, the Winter, going jacuzzing with Ismail, my cats—you get the drift. I also began really noticing the negative aspects that weren’t so clear when things were so fresh and exotic. Namely the ungodly heat that NEVER lets up, the constant mosquitoes; no matter where I go—apartment, bus, classroom, office, they are ALWAYS there with their buzzing and I am left with ankles and arms full of bites. The hour long commute to work to an area that since the flood, is now a big rotting pile of stinking junk and flies. Dust in my eyes everyday from the motorbike cabs, the really dirty foot bridge with the homeless people. These things make me miss home-clean streets, a car, seasons.

I wanted to open with the negative aspects of my feelings because the majority of what I’m feeling is like a blending of sadness, fear of what my life now holds back home, and a sense of what I’ll be missing here. My neighborhood provides a good example of things that I will truly miss. Once the weekend travels ceased and life became just work and home, I began to take an interest in the stray cats. I started feeding a few in particular every day and the cats grew to love me and run for me as I came, as cats will. The thing is though, the neighbors also welcomed me, greeting me every day with a seat at their food stall and sometimes pointing out the cats for me. They would come over to sit and just smile and do their best to communicate, although not much was understood. Many of the neighbors now know me and give me wide smiles as I pass and say things like “meow meow” indicating where are the cats? The people in this community know each other and the Thai people have such a laid back attitude towards life that the stray cats and dogs don’t bother them a bit. In fact there are many people that leave food and water out for them. I find their general easiness about life so refreshing and it will be missed.

I have accomplished so much personally since I’ve been here as well. I’ve learned how to be independent again, I’m managing my money better than I ever have before, I quit smoking, lost a significant amount of weight, and finally after years and years, I’ve quit taking my medication which has kept me stuck to a place I no longer needed. I learned how to enjoy my own company, and I also made friends here. I’ve traveled extensively alone and with companions, and met many people with great stories along the way. I’ve had the pleasure of teaching Thai students, who, though they are not perfect, and do enjoy making a lot of noise J are truly the sweetest kids. There is an  innocence about Thai students that warms my heart. I’ve certainly done my share of yelling to “keep it down” and been ignored, but I can honestly say that I have never once been disrespected in any way. I’ve only been greeted with smiles, wai’s, and “good morning, good afternoon teacher.” 

I will miss this lovely little apartment that I think of as my own. It reminds me so much of when I lived alone in New York City’s East Village in that tiny studio on 7^th & C. Many of you will remember. I had deeply happy times there too. Getting that apartment and having my dad and mom surprise me by fixing it up for me and knowing how proud my dad was of me is one of my most cherished moments to date. I have a handful of cherished experiences like that in my life—college with Amanda and Professor Furr, getting my first teaching job, meeting the love of my life, Ismail. Now I will soon add Thailand to this list of cherished memories. Now as I write, I cry because I know that soon the “living it” part will be over and it will only be memories which I will share at every chance I get. I’ve met the kinds of people here that make traveling and working in different countries their life. I wish I could do that, but truthfully it’s just not me. Inside I want to be married to my husband, and live close to my mom and have kids that she can see all the time. I feel like that chapter is beginning for me and it both excites and frightens me so much.

Thailand has changed me forever in many ways and part of me is afraid of going back to more of the same, but one thing I know about me is that If I want to I can make things happen for myself and I want to stay determined to do just that.  Thanks for reading. This one has been my most heartfelt blog.

Next blog will be from my long honeymoon! Ismail will be here in a week and a half and we will travel Thailand very extensively and then were back stateside April 19^th!  

Pic 1: My adopted strays, I found homes for the 2 kittens and I miss them tremendously

Pic 2: Beautiful Khao Yai National Park-biggest and best in Thailand

Getting Married, Lopburi, Koh Si Chang, Koh Kood, Muang Boran

Back to work tomorrow after a nice 3 day holiday for New Years! It was great to have time to relax. Normally if I have time off like this I go on a trip but every place in all of Thailand it seemed was booked, so I stayed home minus 1 day trip to Samut Prakan’s Ancient City, which is a big park shaped like Thailand with replicas of all the countries major cultural sites, including temples, ruins, palaces, religious structures, etc. It’s a beautiful place; I used a bicycle to see it and it’s like you’re truly riding through these different areas because they do the landscape as it appears in each region. A lovely day.

I haven’t written in awhile so I’ve not mentioned many of my trips. I went home to Florida shortly after my Vietnam trip to see my mom’s wedding. While I was there for 2 weeks, I actually got married too. J It was a decision we made purely out of convenience because getting the legal requirements done in Thailand was becoming a problem. I’m glad we did though.  We made it official on 11/11/11. How cool is that?!  We had the ceremony in a mosque that Ismail found at the last minute after trying several. I’m happy to be married to the man of my dreams.

So when I got back to Thailand, a friend and I went to the Lopburi Monkey Festival during the last weekend in November. Many of you know by now through my various facebook pictures, that I have developed a LOVE for monkeys since coming here. I had been looking forward to the Monkey Festival since getting here and it didn’t disappoint. The coolest thing was watching many naughty monkeys sneak up on people and grab things right out of their hands! I watched several small children have their sodas, ice cream, and plates of food snatched; I watched a woman have a plastic bag full of toilet paper grabbed and I saw the disappointed monkey throw the toilet paper after realizing it wasn’t food. I also got the pleasure of feeding monkeys by hand, something I was too afraid to do in Phetchaburi. In Lopburi however you can stand inside the ruin with bars separating you from the monkeys and therefore feed them without being mobbed. It was a real treat!

Then a week later I went with the same friend to an island not far from Bangkok called Koh Si Chang. I consider it to be a real gem because it seems fairly unknown to Westerners and so still remains filled with cultural charm. In addition to beautifully clear water, and a nice beach where we stayed, it also has some beautiful wats and an amazing Chinese temple. One of the highlights was a day trip to a surrounding island where we had the place completely to ourselves. There were 2 rope swings right over the crystal clear water. The sunsets on Koh Si Chang are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.  It was a lovely trip.

Lastly, I took a trip to the beautiful island of Koh Kood, which borders Cambodia and is 6 hours South of Bangkok.  This island is in my top 3 of trips I’ve taken after Kanchanaburi, and Phetchaburi. Firstly, it also has this amazing feel because it’s not yet discovered as a high traffic tourist destination. There are few Westerners and apart from resorts that line one side of the island, the rest of it feels completely deserted—like you are alone in the jungle. It’s got 3 waterfalls—two of which I had to myself—beautiful clear water and sand, amazing deserted roads to motorbike through, and a favorite of mine, discovering a real Thai floating fishing village, practically unknown to tourists. No signs tell you how to get there – I just kept going on the motorbike and came to it when I reached the end of the island. It was amazing to see this small floating village, with those big fishing nets out in the water.  I’m sure it will be the only time I get to see one of these authentic villages while I’m here. 

So I’m back to work tomorrow after a nice little relaxed break. Lately I’ve been very busy—working on Saturdays and in addition teaching twice a week freelance, and working on my math. My husband has his ticket for our honeymoon. He’ll be here March 13^th & we will both leave April 19^th. I can’t believe I’ve been here almost 6 months already! 3 more months left and still so much I want to do and see.  I’m going to Khao Yai National Park in 2 weeks for a few days in mid January because we have 2 days off for Teachers day and students day—actual school holidays here! Gotta love Thailand!

Pic 1: Naughty monkey at Lopburi Monkey Festival, Nov. 2011

Pic 2: Koh Si Chang, Dec. 2011

Pic 3:Floating Fishing Village, Koh Kood, Dec. 2011

Pic. 3: Ancient City, Samut Prakan, January, 2012

Pic. 4: Mosque where Ismail and I got married, 11/11/11